Know Yourself: Climb a Tree We talked about the i…

December 16, 2005

Know Yourself: Climb a Tree

We talked about the importance of looking at your family in understanding who you are. I want to take that a step further and climb up your family tree.

When I met my husband, one of the most important things in his life was studying his family history. When he was single, he would do research almost every night. I put a damper on that schedule, but he has succeeded in giving me the genealogy bug. Almost every trip we take involves some kind of visit to a library, courthouse, or cemetery.

Studying genealogy is fascinating. It is amazing to look back and see how you mirror characteristics of your great grandmother or grandfather. You can see how their DNA is living out in you. You can also see how their attitudes and experiences trickle down to you.

You can see patterns in regards to attitudes about money and wealth. When I began learning about my great-grandfather Joe Ben Tingle, I began to understand my work and employment patterns. Joe Ben was a minister (also a big commonality seeing as I have a seminary degree). He was a starter. He would plant a church, build it up, and move on to another project. In between times he would work in the coal mines or farm. When you look at my very diverse resume, you can see how I take after him.

Another great grandfather was Ed Adams. He was the kind of person that everyone in the community liked, but once you knew the real him you weren’t very impressed. He was a successful business man with land and cattle. He also owned the local ice house in Myrtlewood, AL. The problem was that he was selfish about money. He would buy nice things for himself while his family had to skimp on basic necessities.

He son, Fred, was my great uncle. He inherited a lot of Ed’s business sense and was responsible for building most of the commercial property in Myrtlewood. Myrtlewood only has a few hundred residents, but while my uncle was alive, he received passive income from the leases on the buildings (including the post office) and income from the laundromat or washateria, as we call them in the South.

My grandmother was his youngest daughter, but she never developed that business sense. She always talked about how poor she was growing up and this colored her mindset her whole life.

It is very interesting to look at these patterns and see what shaped us. Looking at my Grandmother’s life, I can see some of who I am — in financial survival mode, but with a loving and generous heart.

Looking at her father’s life, I can see how I want to be - entrepreneurial - and how I don’t want to be - miserly. The entrepreneurial traits are in my genome and so is the desire to be generous. Those are things I want to build and can see fruit.

How about you? What do you see in your family tree that can help you understand yourself better. My next blog will include some tools to help you do that.

Here’s to the Journey,

Deborah

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